sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
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