Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Randomize
