she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
