he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Randomize
