it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
