Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
