The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
