Jerry, you need to find god
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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