Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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