I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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