I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Randomize
