I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
