"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
