we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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