dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Randomize
