O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
