trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
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