I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I can tuck mytits in my pants
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
