What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
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