I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
