Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
