I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Randomize
