can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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