I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
