i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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