i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
