it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
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