this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
