He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
