I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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