After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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