i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
