I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
