I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Randomize
