Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
