I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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