What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
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