I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Do vagina's smell?
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
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