It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Randomize
