Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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