I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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