Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Randomize
