Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
