Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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