first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
