ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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