she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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