I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
