how can u be prego again
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
