i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
i need some magic done to my vagina
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Randomize
