we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
