K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
